Self Care Isn’t Selfish

A love letter to myself, this World Mental Health Day.

Dear Self,

This World Mental Health Day I thought its best to write to you. Maybe someone else may be inspired to do the same after all today is the day we remind ourselves that self care is not selfish.  We ought to remember that we should be in love with ourselves first, we are our own first love story.

But sometimes the world gets to us. Always I will say.

But it’s ok. It’s ok to not be ok at all times.

It is ok to be tired of life and the world around us. 2020 is not easy on anyone. Not even that friend you didn’t like or that colleague you wish slipped off the morning bus. Or that ex of yours who broke you.

It’s ok to feel the world crumbling around you. You don’t have to have control over everything and at every single moment.

It’s ok to wake up in the morning and feel like you survived another night and now eventually you have to survive another morning. Another morning that feels impossible by noon. You made it yesterday, you will make it today.

It’s ok to wake up and feel overwhelmed by the chores of the day. Remember Rome wasn’t built in one ……… day.

It’s ok to take it easy on some days and let your feet up, you don’t have to be so hard on yourself every single day for every single task. Take a break. Take a rest day. Even God did. And maybe still does.

Spend time remembering the smaller moments in life. That time you realised you had a crush on the first boy you met at school. That time you realised what butterflies in the stomach must feel like. That time you dipped the thermometer in the morning milk so that you could skip school. That time you won that report writing competition in 11th grade unexpectedly. That time you were late to school. Make it those times. Remember how far you’ve come from those little moments.

Don’t ponder on the negatives. Don’t even have to remember them. Don’t remember the times you were bullied in school. You were bullied at work. And even when you gave your heart to the people you trusted and they bullied you too. Don’t ponder on why you wasted your time and love on the wrong people. They were there to teach you to love yourself first. To love better the next time. To wait for the right persons. Who by the way exist.  It’s ok to want the right kind of love for yourself. You are deserving of it. You always have and you always will.

Forgive yourself for the hurt you have caused others. Humans make mistakes. Rectify them if needed. Pray over them if needed. Leave some mistakes alone if needed. Forgive others for the hurt they caused you. No one likes to walk with a stone in the shoe. Forgive them and move on. It isn’t easy but it’s worth it over time.

Appreciate yourself first. I say first because you are your first love story. Learn to live with your perfect imperfections. Even if it means dedicating John Legend’s All of Me to your one and only self. Remember the talents that make you unique. The sense of humour your true friends appreciate and your odd habits they remind you of. That makes you. YOU. Love your curves. Love your edges. Love yourself on good days and especially on those bad days. You have to be your own saviour. We give so much love to others all the time, we forget to save some for ourselves too.

Appreciate those who put you first. Appreciate the friends and family that treat you like priority. Those who keep you on speed dial for good and bad moments. Those who remember to ask you little details of your life and little details of your day. Appreciate those who take time to ask how are you? And on some days how is your family? Appreciate those who keep you in good vibes and prayers no matter which faith. Appreciate those who remember to tell you the small details of their own day with excitement and laughter. Appreciate those who take time off to see if you made it through your day. To celebrate your day’s little and large moments with equal excitement and laughter.

Appreciate those who checked on you when you were low.

Embrace your failures and shortcomings. They make you stronger. Embrace the times you failed that job interview you wanted so bad. The tests that were meant to be easy. Embrace the rejections you faced for no reason with no explanation.  They will lead you to a better destination.

Be your own coffee date. Your own movie date. Take a table for one at your favourite restaurant. Treat yourself to a cheat meal once in a while. Smile at yourself. Be our own gym partner and your own sing along partner on long drives. Get lost in your own town. Find yourself and find your way home of course. Learn something new every day. Even it is one Spanish word. Go back to those recipes you have been piling on the pending list. Get back to those chores that scare you. Get back to loving you.

Remember you are unique. Remember you are you. Remember no one else can be you and most of all remember that someone once said,

Fall seven times. Stand up eight.

Come back to this letter with every fall if you need. But Stand tall. Head high. Head Up. Always.

Love And Warmest Regards,

Self.